I don’t know what I want. We all just want to be happy but what is happiness when you don’t even know what makes you happy? Some days I like to think happiness is just being able to hangout with good friends and just having a good time. Or even achieving a goal. With all the motivation I used to have, it made me happy knowing that I worked so hard to get to where I am now, but that motivation & all that hard work is put to shit. I just need to find start doing what I love to do & find happiness again. I always feel like I don’t really know myself. Sometimes, I feel like my life just depends on what other people think about me. I’m always trying to be “better” for someone else but for once I just want to prove myself and not everyone else. My whole life has always been me proving everyone else but why does that matter when it only makes me more miserable.. trying to be something I’m not. I try so hard to archive these goals and just because I mess up, I feel one little thing could ruin my whole life. I hate this. I just need to figure my shit out. I want to be happy and not live my life through peoples expectations.